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Mar. 26th, 2012 11:15 amThere's a quote going around Tumblr right now from Frank Zappa:
If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
No one deserves or is entitled to anything. However, this is a really callous, judgmental attitude in this quote.
When we’re young, we look to the adults in our lives for guidance—it’s not just choice, it’s human instinct. Young mammals ALWAYS look to their adults to learn what the world is about. They have no other frame of reference.
If a young person is mistreated or fed a particular set of social norms and mores, and that’s all they ever have access to, and they don’t know that it’s possible to have alternatives—and especially if from a young age their sense of curiosity is crushed repeatedly—then they may end up like the person in the image above. If they’re raised, from a young age, with the idea—and examples thereof—that not conforming is a risk too great to take, that taking risks is so unsafe that it’s life-threatening to even try, then that locks into basic survival instincts.
Finally, there’s trauma. In some families, abuse and other traumatic events are used, whether consciously or not, to keep people “in line”. Or it’s simply arbitrary. If a person is traumatized, especially repeatedly, from a young age, that can affect the very way their brain is hard-wired, particularly the limbic system (fight or flight).
So you know what? It’s not as simple as Mr. Zappa would have one believe. I see a lot of counterculture people use this quote as an excuse to feel all superior over more mainstream people—and yet it’s bullshit. Adhering to some counterculture ideal without critically engaging it is just as sheep-like as the image of mainstream adherence they rail against.
You want to be truly revolutionary? Try compassion. Try thinking—believing—breathing—what it’s like to be someone else, especially someone who’s nothing like you. Do that, and then maybe you can talk about nonconformity.
If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
No one deserves or is entitled to anything. However, this is a really callous, judgmental attitude in this quote.
When we’re young, we look to the adults in our lives for guidance—it’s not just choice, it’s human instinct. Young mammals ALWAYS look to their adults to learn what the world is about. They have no other frame of reference.
If a young person is mistreated or fed a particular set of social norms and mores, and that’s all they ever have access to, and they don’t know that it’s possible to have alternatives—and especially if from a young age their sense of curiosity is crushed repeatedly—then they may end up like the person in the image above. If they’re raised, from a young age, with the idea—and examples thereof—that not conforming is a risk too great to take, that taking risks is so unsafe that it’s life-threatening to even try, then that locks into basic survival instincts.
Finally, there’s trauma. In some families, abuse and other traumatic events are used, whether consciously or not, to keep people “in line”. Or it’s simply arbitrary. If a person is traumatized, especially repeatedly, from a young age, that can affect the very way their brain is hard-wired, particularly the limbic system (fight or flight).
So you know what? It’s not as simple as Mr. Zappa would have one believe. I see a lot of counterculture people use this quote as an excuse to feel all superior over more mainstream people—and yet it’s bullshit. Adhering to some counterculture ideal without critically engaging it is just as sheep-like as the image of mainstream adherence they rail against.
You want to be truly revolutionary? Try compassion. Try thinking—believing—breathing—what it’s like to be someone else, especially someone who’s nothing like you. Do that, and then maybe you can talk about nonconformity.