Lupa Greenwolf (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lupagreenwolf) wrote2012-02-21 10:15 am
lupagreenwolf) wrote2012-02-21 10:15 am
(no subject)
I have been adding ETAs to my main Livejournal post about this since it's been getting the most attention, but I wanted to highlight the latest one as I am on a laptop instead of my phone for once:
So--I feel a bit like my point has been missed on some parts, so I wanted to clarify. I have absolutely no problem with cis-women-only rituals. What I have a problem with is when a ritual that is purported to be for "all women" or, in the case of Z's ritual, "the beauty and grace of the feminine form in all of her infinite variety", is limited to cis women only. This exclusion of trans women from rituals stated to be for ALL women invalidates trans women's identities AS WOMEN. It is NOT enough that trans people have their own trans-centric rituals and spaces, though these have great value to many trans people. "Transgender" is not a third sex separate from "men" and "women". A transgender woman is a woman, and if your ritual is specifically stated to be for ALL women, then you need to include ALL women, cis and trans.
That's what I'm trying to convey. I could also go on about how I feel so many cis women are ignoring the fact that trans women's issues ARE women's issues. I could add in how transphobic it is for cis women who have been raped, abused, or assaulted by men (and I include myself in that demographic as a sexual assault and abusive relationship survivor) use our trauma as a weapon against trans women simply because they were born into male bodies. I could emphasize that cisgender women do have privileges that trans women do not, simply for being cis--no one doubts that we cis women are women because we were born with vulvas, but trans women have their identities as women questioned all the time, within and outside of paganism. But I feel that these issues have been more than adequately covered in the many comments and discussions as a response to this post, for which I am very grateful.
So I am just going to leave this as my main point: have cis-women-only rituals if you want. Or cis-men-only. Or trans-women, or trans-men, or genderqueer, etc. There is space for sharing unique experiences. However, don't call your cis-women-only ritual one that is for ALL WOMEN. That is where I get angry, and why I was protesting this weekend.
So--I feel a bit like my point has been missed on some parts, so I wanted to clarify. I have absolutely no problem with cis-women-only rituals. What I have a problem with is when a ritual that is purported to be for "all women" or, in the case of Z's ritual, "the beauty and grace of the feminine form in all of her infinite variety", is limited to cis women only. This exclusion of trans women from rituals stated to be for ALL women invalidates trans women's identities AS WOMEN. It is NOT enough that trans people have their own trans-centric rituals and spaces, though these have great value to many trans people. "Transgender" is not a third sex separate from "men" and "women". A transgender woman is a woman, and if your ritual is specifically stated to be for ALL women, then you need to include ALL women, cis and trans.
That's what I'm trying to convey. I could also go on about how I feel so many cis women are ignoring the fact that trans women's issues ARE women's issues. I could add in how transphobic it is for cis women who have been raped, abused, or assaulted by men (and I include myself in that demographic as a sexual assault and abusive relationship survivor) use our trauma as a weapon against trans women simply because they were born into male bodies. I could emphasize that cisgender women do have privileges that trans women do not, simply for being cis--no one doubts that we cis women are women because we were born with vulvas, but trans women have their identities as women questioned all the time, within and outside of paganism. But I feel that these issues have been more than adequately covered in the many comments and discussions as a response to this post, for which I am very grateful.
So I am just going to leave this as my main point: have cis-women-only rituals if you want. Or cis-men-only. Or trans-women, or trans-men, or genderqueer, etc. There is space for sharing unique experiences. However, don't call your cis-women-only ritual one that is for ALL WOMEN. That is where I get angry, and why I was protesting this weekend.
no subject
I tend to agree, and the focus on the uterus/period/pregnancy/childbirth/breastfeeding is part of what's put me off from a lot of feminist-minded pagan groups. I'm a cis woman who has PCOS and PMDD; when I was a teenager, I basically didn't bleed. As an adult, I bled constantly. Because of the PMDD (or my bipolar disorder, or some combination of the two), I have constant bipolar cycles when my hormones are fluctuating like that. My period has to be controlled by hormonal birth control. I have my withdrawal bleed twice a year.
I also have never wanted children. I don't hate them, per se, but I like my life as it is, and my cats are my children. I see baby pictures and have no idea why people think that's cute; I see kitten pictures and immediately want dozens. My maternal instinct is species-misplaced.
I was introduced to the idea of Dianic Wicca and other feminist pagan groups when I was a teenager, and I feel no more kinship now than I did then. Honestly, I felt put off and unwanted. Their idea of what constitutes womanhood is very stuck in traditional gender roles of women being mother, nurturer, caretaker, whereas I have never really been any of those things. Some of the writings I have read made me feel like I would be considered less of a woman by them, because I don't identify with these things.
At the same time, I consider myself very feminine, because that is who I am (and my memories of Not Here -- well, let's just say womanhood was not treated so strictly... here, I receive regular comments that I am one of the most masculine women people have met). And yet, I do not identify with any of the things that they put forth as being necessary and even fundamental of womanhood.
So, I don't understand why cis women rituals are necessary. I can sorta vaguely understand why other cis women might want them if I look at it sideways, but for me, these things that are so important to these rituals are things that are either unimportant to me or I view with distaste and disgust because they are annoyances to my body or things that I simply do not ever want. It is limiting, and the idea that my womanhood should be boiled down to my reproductive organs and genitalia is downright abhorrent to me.
no subject